Among the thousands of words that we say to our children, there are several that make them stronger, smarter, kinder, and more self-confident.
Bright Side collected 11 phrases that contribute to the harmonious development of children and make them happy.
Children unconsciously test us with their bad behavior. It’s as if they’re saying, “Will you love me even like this?“ The answer must be unambiguous: ”Of course I will! I’m happy I have you. If I could choose from all the children in the world, I would choose you.” This way you develop a healthy psyche in your child.
These 3 magic words are crucial for the healthy development of your child. It is also important to back your words up with actions: spending time together, playing, laughing and fooling around, blowing bubbles, hugging your baby, discussing his problems, and supporting him if necessary.
“Ah, your room is clean!“ ”Wow! The bed is made!“ “You’ve folded your clothes so neatly! Well done!” Such phrases help your child feel your support and faith in him. They make it clear that his efforts are appreciated. Also, any ”positive reinforcement” causes pleasant feelings and positive emotions, which causes the approved behavior to repeat.
We all are human, and all of us can make mistakes. It is important to have the courage to admit them and ask forgiveness from your children. This way we let them know that we value and respect them. And we also teach them that if one isn’t right, he should ask for forgiveness and not repeat his actions.
Suppression of negative emotions leads to neuroses and psychosomatic diseases. A child has a right to be angry. He should be allowed to grieve over a lost toy or cry when it hurts. A ban on negative feelings, on their manifestation, is a ban on being yourself, being spontaneous.
Our task as parents is to teach a child to express his emotions without harming anyone.
It is important to let the child know that fearlessness is impossible. Everyone in the world is afraid of something, and bravery is just knowing how to overcome fear or act despite it. If your child is afraid of something, share with him your own memories and experiences of how you learned to cope with your fear.
By giving the child a right to choose, we teach him to listen to himself and not be afraid to reject offers that are contrary to his beliefs, desires, or interests. Children who constantly have things chosen for them grow up passive, dependent, and easily manipulated by someone else’s authority.
When demanding unquestioning obedience from your child, think 20 years ahead. Do you really want him to become an adult who obeys everyone and doesn’t try to defend his position?
By reminding your child about his past successes, you convince him of his strength and help him realize he can achieve even more.
“It’s okay! Try again.“ ”I believe in you!“ “Nobody gets it right away.” This is what you should say to your child in case of failure, even one that seems serious (like an F or losing in a contest).
Your child should realize that every successful person has made mistakes and that mistakes help develop perseverance, patience, and other important qualities. Most importantly, though, show that his failures will have no bearing on how much you love him.
“How are you feeling?“ ”How was your day?” Such questions contribute to emotional closeness between a parent and their child. They also train him to formulate his thoughts. Finally, they allow the child to be sufficiently sensitive and attentive to himself.
Parents often use the pronoun “we“ in relation to their child: ”We have already crawled!“ “We go to kindergarten.” ”We will soon start second grade.“ In infancy, the sensation of the mother and child as one whole is useful for the development of the baby and even necessary for its survival. However, in the future, it hampers development and hinders psychological separation.
The possibility of self-reliance is important to understand. Psychologists are convinced that the goal of education is to teach the child to be a good enough parent to himself. And the first step to this is the pronoun ”you.”
Illustrated by Yekaterina Ragozina for BrightSide.me